If your children appreciate their own individuality, and have been taught to respect other people`s needs. they wont demand to be treated exactly the same,or feel a need to compete for your attention. Of course,you wont have to factor in their maturity levels(toddlers live in a world of "me,me and me")but it does get easier as they grow older-assuming that you raise them properly.Here are some tips.
Don`t play favorites. You may love them differently,but don`t make them differently,but don`t make them feel you love one more.For example.don`t take sides during a fight.Punishments for arguments should affect the group(if they don`t agree with the channel,nobody gets to watch the TV).Don`t compare kids, and treat tattling like gossip-it maybe true, but the "victim" deserve the chance to tell her side of the story.
Give extra attention only when needed. Watch for behavioral cues (acting up, regression, sudden changes) but don`t coddle weaknesses-part of involvement is teaching them to find solutions for their problems.Children will normally cycle.through phases of needing more and less attention,but habitual clinginess is a sign of a deeper problem. (That includes parents who reward clinginess by babying them)*
Develop in dependence. Spoiling kids today makes your job more difficult in the long run. "Some parents actually feel affirmed if their kids ~need~ them. They will always need you,even when they `re adults. you have to help them grow up, not hold them back"*
Celebrate individuality. Know their interest and personality traits, and make them feel proud of who they are. In fact, the one standard for "quality time" is that it affirms your kids sense of individuality."Human nature is such that you most remember the moments that make you feel good about yourself. If you have 30 minutes of one-on-one time on each of you kids, 'it should have the vibe of I`m happy I know you and that I`m with you"
